May
23
Two Hookers Walk Into a Bar…
May 23, 2007 | Posted by Kiki
My night just got interesting.
Now, this kind of thing doesn’t happen all the time… but more often than we think. This time was different.
It was a girl and a guy.
so there she is, leaning over the bar, snapping her gum, promising to make me money by dancing on the bar (all tips come to me, of course). Fine, I say, do what ever you want. And as I walk away to make a couple shots I realize she’s probably done stuff I haven’t even thought of.
Then my attention is drawn to the guy. He had come into the bar earlier and never ordered a drink. So I watch him chat up some dudes at a table when the song comes on.
The dancing started out funny enough, whatever amuses the customers I’m fine with, and then the shirt flies through the air.
Well! Alright! I see some gyrating, some hip-popping… and off comes the undershirt. Uh, okay…
Normally we see girls do this, but everyone is still laughing so it continues.
Meanwhile, I’ve got Gramma Skankypants working the guys at the end of the bar, so I mosey over to see what’s going down (pun completely intended).
She’s managed to score at least a couple shots of Patron and is nailing down her ‘john’ while my customers are looking around wondering how they fell into this whacked-out rabbit hole. Am I seeing what I’m seeing or was that the booze playing with my mind. Uh, nope… that’s definite coochie in face.
Just then, a fight breaks out between the ’stripping guy’ and some big guy drinking Guinness at the bar.
As the bouncers grab the dancing queen I talk with Mr. Macho to see what happened. It’s confirmed. Offering to suck dick for a drink in a bar is a bad idea, especially if you’re a guy.
Bar time: 2:43am. Last call can’t come soon enough…
